For years now, the social media platform has been an easy way to stay connected. It joined all of our worlds together, providing us with ways to demonstrate who we are within it. But it’s become so much more.
Over time, this medium has evolved into a wealth of information and wonderful things. It’s a gateway that shares, sells, and obtains the information that keeps us all connected to what’s new and trending. Sadly, however, social media has also become the number one killer of all things human, in more ways than one. Like everything in life, give people time to obsess over something, and they will find ways to abuse it.
As a Writer, Film-Maker, and Motivational Speaker, I use social media to bring awareness to many different projects that I am working on – ranging from an abundance of topics. It also provides me with a public platform to engage with others on these topics and form a sense of diversity and inclusion in a world feeling less united every day.
Sadly, it’s getting harder and harder to do this because social media is becoming more of a harassment and bullying tool.
In the realms of Facebook alone, I am bombarded every day with hundreds and hundreds of direct/private messages from individuals who use this as no more than a dating app. Each day my inbox is continuously filled with harassing, obscene and rude comments and photos from men and women trying to impose their will on me because they feel that it is their right. Now, my page is a public one on all of my social media platforms, because of the work I do and am involved in. It vibes off of public interaction and discussion. Because of this, all are welcome and accepted as friends and followers. But, that should not mean that anyone has an open invitation to contact me directly via messenger texting, or video calling to try to exploit or objectify me at their will. It’s become somewhat ridiculous. I have had countless discussions with social media officials and nothing ever seems to be done about it. All I hear is that I have to review my privacy options and try to block or report individuals accordingly- which I always do. That perhaps I’m not doing everything possible to keep myself from this abuse. I have tried, but this takes more time to do each day than sharing my actual content – so what is the point? Once again, here is yet another entity trying to blame the victim. This whole thing has left such a very bad taste in my mouth, making me contemplate leaving social media altogether – and sadly I am not alone in this habitual type of harassment. I cannot tell you how many emails I have received on social content I have written about this very subject. It is honestly shameful that we have to go through this in a day and age like this one, where the world is so tech-savvy and media evolved.
Now I get it, these days, it’s much easier to send a man or woman you fancy a DM and hope that it works out favorably. All fine and good, but if the other party kindly declines or communicates that they are not here for this type of interaction, and that it makes them uncomfortable to be messaged in this way, that should be the end of it. After countless addresses of this nature, my polite declines are followed up by men yelling and harassing me for not being more “accommodating” to their requests. What usually follows are questions like why I am such a stuck up bitch, too good to give anyone a chance if I’m not interested in men, why doesn’t my profile state that I’m not single, why did I accept a following from them on my page if I wasn’t interested in having some “fun”. May I add that most of these types of comments and harassment are all from men who are currently showing their status as "married". Honestly, I have no words. However, I can truly understand how there are many people out there who allow the bullying to overtake their lives and even end them at times. This type of behavior is just despicable.
Which leads us to another realm of discussion for just a minute. For everyone out there in relationships, beware! Cheating is so readily available and presented these days, making social media the ring leader in the cheating circus. It has made it that much easier for people to prey on others – wanted and unwantedly. For anyone single out there, be careful! You never know just who you’re talking to or their intentions on any app, including social platforms. Everyone can be or portray to be anyone they want you to see or believe that they are until it’s too late. As I mentioned already, most people I’ve been harassed by are married individuals.
I do understand that there have also been many beautiful connections made online, leading to lifetime relationships, and marriages. I don’t take from their happiness or the way they chose to find love. But, it’s intentional, reciprocated, and respectful. This is not what I’m referring to, obviously. It’s the predators, the wolves among the sheep that we must be wary of.
I am a professional, and I have every right to accept and engage openly and publically with anyone I wish. I also have the right to my privacy and should be able to be heard when I express that I don’t wish to entertain private chats or conversations. It is my right to say no and be understood. What saddens me is that multi-billion dollar platforms like FaceBook, Instagram, and Twitter aren’t doing more to stop this type of abuse from happening. I fully understand that I am free to leave the platforms, but why should I have to? In my business, I have an obligation and responsibility to at least do whatever it is in my power to make my public, and those who use my services feel safe. Why aren’t they more accommodating with making their users feel comfortable? Why is it not one of their main priorities to make users feel safe?
We all have the right to use social media. What we don’t have is the right to do is impose our wants, beliefs, or customs on others.
I am not sure who this blog will reach, or what it will change in this sector of the spectrum, but we all have the right to speak out when things are wrong. I am doing just that. I don’t know what this will mean for my future social media presence, but I am not above deleting it all to keep myself safe if necessary. That being said, I won’t go without a fight! Something needs to be done about this. Changes need to happen and fast. Yes, I’m speaking to YOU – Mark Zuckerberg, Kevin Systrom, Jack Dorsey, Lian Rubo.
I’m going to say this once, to address all the idiots who continuously feel the need to fill my inbox daily: My marital status is none of your business, nor do I have to fill it out on a social media profile for you to respect me or my privacy. The word NO is pretty much universal and should be understood. If you are a follower of any of my pages, it only gives you the right, freedom, or access to enjoy, discuss and share my content – nothing more. You don’t intimidate me or scare me – you bother me! To most of you filling my messages with sexual innuendos and other nonsense, I see that you have children, I hope your kids aren’t being treated, propositioned, or harassed by men on social media, as you are doing to me each day. Remember – Karma will forever be an absolute bitch!